Bonuses for Billionaires

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
The New York Times


The first few times I heard House Republicans talk about our budget mess, I worried that they had plunged off the deep end. But as I kept on listening, a buzzer went off in my mind, and I came to understand how much sense the Tea Party caucus makes.

Why would we impose “job-crushing taxes” on wealthy Americans just to pay for luxuries like federal prisons? Why end the “carried interest” tax loophole for financiers, just to pay for unemployment benefits — especially when those same selfless tycoons are buying yachts and thus creating jobs for all the rest of us?

Hmmm. The truth is that House Republicans don’t actually go far enough. They should follow the logic of their more visionary members with steps like these:

BONUSES FOR BILLIONAIRES
Republicans won’t extend unemployment benefits, even in the worst downturn in 70 years, because that makes people lazy about finding jobs. They’re right: We should be creating incentives for Americans to rise up the food chain by sending hefty checks to every new billionaire. This could be paid for with a tax surcharge on regular working folks. It’s the least we can do.

Likewise, the government should take sterner measures against the persistent jobless. Don’t just let their unemployment benefits expire. Take their homes!

Oh, never mind! Silly me! The banks are already doing that.

LET JOBS TRICKLE DOWN
Leftist pundits say that House Republicans don’t have a jobs plan. That’s unfair! Granted, the Republican-sponsored Cut, Cap and Balance Act would eliminate 700,000 jobs in just its first year, according to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, but those analysts are no doubt liberals. America’s richest 400 people own more wealth than the bottom 150 million Americans, and the affluent would feel renewed confidence if the Republican plan passed. We’d see a hiring bonanza. Each of those wealthy people might hire an extra pool attendant. That’s 400 jobs right there!

Cut, Cap and Balance would go even further than the Ryan budget plan in starving the beast of government. Sure, that’ll mean cuts in Social Security, Medicare and other programs, but so what? Who needs food safety? How do we know we really need air traffic control unless we try a day without it?
Cut, Cap and Balance would go even further than the Ryan budget plan in starving the beast of government. Sure, that’ll mean cuts in Social Security, Medicare and other programs, but so what? Who needs food safety? How do we know we really need air traffic control unless we try a day without it?

ROOT OUT SOCIALISM
Republicans have been working to end Medicare as we know it but need to examine other reckless entitlements, such as our socialized education system, in which public schools fritter resources on classes like economics and foreign languages. As a former Texas governor, Miriam “Ma” Ferguson, is said to have declared when she opposed the teaching of foreign languages: “If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for us.”

For that matter, who needs socialized police and fire services? We could slash job-crushing taxes at the local level and simply let the free market take over:

“9-1-1, may I help you?” “Yes, help! My house is burning down!” “Very good, sir. I can offer you one fire engine for $5,995, or two for just $10,000.” “Help! My family’s inside. Send three fire engines! Just hurry!” “Yes, sir. Let me just run your credit card first. And if you require the fire trucks immediately, there’s a 50 percent ‘rush’ surcharge.”

CHILL OUT ABOUT THE DEBT CEILING
House Republicans like Michele Bachmann are right: If the debt ceiling isn’t raised, some solution will turn up. As Representative Austin Scott, a Republican from Georgia, observes: “In the end, the sun is going to come up tomorrow.”

We got through the Great Depression, didn’t we? It looked pretty hopeless in 1929, but in just a dozen years World War II bailed us out with an economic stimulus. Something like that’ll come along for us, too. Ya gotta have faith.

CONSIDER ASSET SALES
While Democrats are harrumphing about “default,” Republicans have sagely noted that there are alternatives in front of our noses. For example, why raise taxes on hard-pressed managers of hedge funds when the government can sell assets?

Fort Knox alone has 4,600 tons of gold, which I figure is worth around $235 billion. That’s enough to pay our military budget for four months! And selling Yosemite, Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon would buy us time as well.

RENT OUT CONGRESS
If the debt ceiling isn’t raised, we could also auction members of Congress for day jobs: Are you a financier who wants someone to flip burgers (steaks?) at your child’s birthday party? Why, here’s Eric Cantor! Many members of Congress already work on behalf of tycoons, and this way the revenue would flow to the Treasury.

Finally, if we risk default, let’s rent out the Capitol for weddings to raise money for the public good. Wouldn’t it be nice to see something positive emerge from the House?
----------------------------------
EDITORIAL DEL NEW YORK TIMES  del jueves 21 de julio del 2011:
"BONUSES FOR BILLIONAIRES" by Nicholas D. Kristof

Traducción y síntesis libre por José María Rosa (hijo del historiador)

COMO SALVAR A ESTADOS UNIDOS

 

Si llegó a ser potencia mundial gracias al capitalismo... ¿A quien se le ocurre ahora intentar salvarla con medidas socialoides? ¡Hay que hacer todo lo contrario!

 

Las ideas son claras:

 

1) "BONUSES FOR BILLIONAIRES" - Darle mas guita a los ricos.  Que lo paguen los laburantes.  Y basta de subsidios de desempleo. ¡El que no tenga laburo, que se joda! 

 

2) LET JOBS TRICKLE DOWN.   Hay soluciones fáciles.  Si 400 billonarios tienen más guita que 150 millones de estadounidenses, basta con que c/u contrate a un ayudante para limpiar la pileta... ¡Y así se generan 400 nuevos empleos!

 

3) BASTA DE SOCIALISMO. Basta de Medicar.  Basta de enseñanza publica. Basta de servicios gratis:   “911, may I help you?” - “Yes, help! My house is burning down!” “Very good, sir. I can offer you one fire engine for $5,995, or two for just $10,000.”

 

4) TODO LLEGA A SU FIN: Hasta la deuda.... ¿Se acuerdan de la Gran Depresión de 1929?  Bastó solo una docena de años para que la 2a. Guerra Mundial nos salvara con su estimulo económico.  Algo así puede volver a pasar... ¡Hay que tener fe!

 

5) VENTA DE ACTIVOS: En Fort Knox hay 4.600 toneladas de oro... ¡¡Eso alcanza para pagar nuestro presupuesto militar durante 4 meses!

 

6) ALQUILAR EL CONGRESO: Y a los congresistas también.... ¿Un millonetas quiere que alguien le haga las hamburguesas para el cumple de su hijo? ¡Alquile un congresista!  De todas maneras muchos congresistas YA trabajan para los magnates, así que conocen el oficio.   Y de paso alquilamos el Capitolio.... así, por lo menos, sirve para algo útil. 

 

El editorial es desopilante.